Nerves aren't the enemy (I promise!)
Before every audition, my heart pounds, my hands go ice cold, and every part of me wants to run in the other direction. If you're a musician, I'm guessing you know exactly what I'm talking about.
For most of my career, I thought the goal was to make that feeling go away. I was convinced that the "real" professionals had figured out some secret, and that one day, with enough experience, the nerves would just disappear.
Spoiler, they never did.
What I was taught (and what was missing)
At Juilliard, I took a class on sports psychology, and it was fascinating. We learned about visualization and the power of the mind in preparing for a stressful event. It genuinely helped me with the pre-performance part. But it was mostly mindset, and when my body was in full alarm mode, mindset alone couldn't reach it.
I auditioned for the concertmaster position with the Kitchener-Waterloo Symphony while I was finishing my Master's, and the process took over a year. A whole year of preparing, performing under pressure, waiting, and doing it all again. I got through it, but I got through it by gritting my teeth and pushing my body through the adrenaline, not by working with it.
And as you know, in an audition you can't stop. You can't restart. If something goes wrong, you keep going. That's a lot to ask of a nervous system that's screaming at you to get out of there!
What changed everything for me
When I started breathwork, something clicked. I realized that my nerves weren't the problem. They were information.
That rush you feel before you walk on stage? That's your body getting ready to perform. Your heart speeds up to send more blood and oxygen to your muscles. Your senses sharpen. Your focus narrows. Your body is literally trying to help you!
The problem isn't the activation. The problem is that most of us have never learned how to work with it. So we fight it, and fighting it only makes it bigger.
Ok, now the science (for the skeptics!)
I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now. I get it. So here's what's actually happening in your body.
Your exhale is your brake pedal. Every time you breathe in, your heart rate goes up slightly. Every time you breathe out, it slows down. This is a completely normal rhythm, and it means that making your exhale longer than your inhale is one of the fastest ways to tell your body it's safe to slow down.
The physiological sigh. Two inhales through the nose (a big one, then a little top-up) followed by one long exhale through the mouth. You already do this naturally when you cry or right before you fall asleep. Researchers at Stanford found that practicing it for just five minutes a day improved mood and lowered breathing rate more than mindfulness meditation did over the same month.
How you talk about your nerves matters. In one study from Harvard Business School, people about to sing, speak in public, or take a math test were asked to say either "I am calm" or "I am excited" before they performed. The "excited" group did better. Why? Because trying to calm down from a high-energy state is a huge leap, but nerves and excitement feel almost identical in the body. It's a much smaller jump to reframe that energy than to shut it down.
Activation can be a good thing. This is the part that surprises people the most. In my practice, I don't only teach slow, calming breaths. I also teach faster, activating breathing, on purpose. My belief (and my lived experience) is that when you practice getting activated in a safe space and then bring yourself back down with your breath, your body learns that it's safe to be activated. And that you can find your way back to balance whenever you need to.
Not everyone's nerves look the same
Here's something I didn't understand for a long time: we don't all respond to stress the same way.
For me, a slow, grounding breath into my belly before I walk on stage is what works best. It brings me back into my body and steadies me.
But some people do the opposite under pressure. Instead of revving up, they go flat. Sleepy, foggy, low energy. For those musicians, calming breathing right before going on is the last thing they need! A short burst of energizing breath can bring them the focus and alertness they're missing.
Part of this work is figuring out which one you are, and building the tools that fit your nervous system.
Try this before your next practice session
Sit tall, with both feet on the floor.
Breathe in through your nose, then take one more little sip of air on top.
Let it all out through your mouth, slowly, like you're fogging up a window.
Repeat 3 to 5 times.
Notice what changes. Your shoulders, your jaw, your hands. Then pick up your instrument and play something you know well. How does it feel?
This is why I created this program
This is everything I wish someone had taught me as a student. So I built it.
Audition & Performance Breathwork for Musicians is a 4-week online program to help you stop fighting your nerves and start using them.
4 live group sessions on Zoom, Mondays from October 19 to November 9, 7:30-8:30pm ET
No instrument needed during the sessions, just you and your breath
Breathing exercises to bring back to your own instrument between sessions
One private 1:1 session with me
Founding cohort price: $300 (regular $600)
At the time I’m writing this blog, we're already half full, and enrollment closes October 18. If you missed my free webinar, you can watch the replay on the program page.
And if you know a musician with a big audition or performance coming up, please share this with them. I would love to breathe with them!