Reflections for the New Year
New Year always brings an introspective energy for me, as I reflect on the year we are leaving behind and make wishes for the new one. The unknown, with all its promise and uncertainty, is something that I’ve felt uncomfortable with in the past. It is also something that I was forced to live in when the bankruptcy happened in 2023. Looking back, I’ve always tried to make myself busy and say yes to everything as a way to avoid being still with my own thoughts and really having to evaluate what makes me happy. This January, the universe is slowing me down. The Bhangra pops concert that was to take place on January 15 has been postponed to May 23 (mark your calendars!), so I suddenly find myself with a wide open month. Nothing to show up for except what I choose. So, what DO I want to show up for this month? Lately I’ve been feeling the pull to explore different things, such as breathwork. I would love to learn more and eventually get certified to lead others in this incredibly powerful practice that has shown me new ways to cope with stress. As a performer, no matter how long it has been (30 years and counting here), I have found that stress is just part of the equation. It can either paralyze and cripple you into a destructive spiral or you can find ways to channel it into a powerful motivating energy. I want to start everyday reminding myself of this truth by breathing. I would also love to get back into some of the hobbies I used to have before having kids, like sewing and photography. The other thing I look forward to this month is having the time to truly practice, slowly, without a new program looming just around the corner. As an orchestra musician, I have lost the luxury to spend extended periods of time truly learning a piece of music inside and out before performing it. My experience in the orchestra world is that I have such little time to learn something between the last concert and the next first rehearsal, that I actually lost the joy that comes with exploring different interpretations of the music. Well, that and the fact that in orchestra you have to portray someone else’s (hi conductors!) vision of the music, which is not always easy. I will take this month to practice upcoming repertoire, such as Piazzolla’s 4 seasons of Buenos Aires, which I will perform with the Orchestre Classique de Montréal on March 11 with Andrei Feher at salle Pierre-Mercure in Montreal. My last thought before entering into the New Year is to never lose touch with the sense of wonder, learning, and exploration that life brings everyday. Try not to get lost in a routine with my head down again, but instead, look up, ask myself the important questions, and start living my best, most aligned life yet! I wish the same for everyone who reads this as well, happy new year!